School Jokes

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" 
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back there tomorrow?

Teacher: Nick, what is the past participle of the verb "to sing"?
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?" 
Teacher: "I don"t think, I KNOW!" 
Nick: "I don"t think I know either, Sir!"

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn"t do?" 
TEACHER: " Of course not." 
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven"t done my homework."

A teacher asked a student to write 55. 
Student asked: How? 
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! 
The student wrote 5 and stopped. 
Teacher: What are you waiting for? 
Student: I don"t know which side to write the other 5!

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? 
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? 
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

Student: Sir, what is an idiot? 
Teacher: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can"t understand him. Do you understand me? 
Student: No.

Teacher: Why are you late? 
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 
Teacher: That"s nice. Were you helping him look for it? 
Student: No. I was standing on it.

Bank Teller: How do you like the money? 
English Student: I like it very much.

Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? 
Student: Well...yes and no.

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present. 
The student: I walk. You walk... 
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please. 
The student: I run. You run...

S1: Look at your face I know what you had for breakfast 
S2: Really? What was it? 
S1: Eggs. 
S2: No, that was yesterday!

Teacher: Did you father help you with your homework? 
Student: No, he did it all by himself!

Teacher: What are some products of the North of Iran? 
Student: I don"t know. 
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get tea from? 
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor!